Showing posts with label oakham. Show all posts
Showing posts with label oakham. Show all posts

Saturday, 22 December 2012

Martin Banned!!! ‘Pornogate’ Councillor Disqualified From Public Office

Residents of Oakham breathed a sigh of relief when a High Court Judge disqualifed Oakham Town Councillor Martin Brookes from holding public office either in Oakham or anywhere else after disgusting the town in an incident known locally as ‘Pornogate’.

The story as it appeared in the Rutland Mercury
Standards for England, the body responsible for maintaining standards in public office, took Cllr Brookes before a Tribunal after a string of complaints against him by fellow councillors, staff and members of the public.  The Tribunal found that Cllr Brookes had been guilty of a large number of breaches of the Code of Conduct, calling one councilllor an ‘arsehole’, another an ‘old bag’ and ‘vilifying’ the Clerks on numerous occasions.  He also subjected a female member of the public he had never met to a tirade of homophobic abuse.

However, the worst incident by far was when Brookes, who is a keen amateur photographer, broke open the Council’s main noticeboard in the High Street and filled it with anal fetish material which promptly led to Brookes’s arrest and cautioning and subsequent downfall at the Standards Tribunal.

Mobile phone video of the incident sent to Laughing Stocks by a member of the public confirms reports widely circulating in the town that the images showed a naked man with a carrot engaging in what can only be described as cruelty to vegetables!

Mystery surrounds the identity of the model in the photographs, but the images taken by a member of the public clearly show one of the pictures was captioned “This is my ex-husband, I shouldn’t really show it round – he’s got the one of me”.

Stills from a video of the noticeboard.  The full horror of the scene has had to be deliberately blurred out by us!

In his final adjudication Presiding Judge David Laverick said of Cllr Brookes: “There is no indication that the Respondent has shown any sign of understanding the standards set by the Code of Conduct despite his agreeing to follow the provisions of that Code. The Tribunal can see no alternative to disqualifying him from being a member of the Town Council, and any other local authority. The Tribunal has decided that the period of disqualification should be two years. That period will allow the particular Town Council to move to a more normal way of operating and will also allow the Respondent time to reflect on the standards which are expected of those in Public Life."
As well as the Pornogate incident, Brookes has also gained notoriety for a series of other bizarre doings.  His crazy antics have included:

-         Sending a press release to all UK national media organisations saying his ex was ‘crap’
-         Proclaiming himself ‘God’s gift to men’
-         Saying that he would never shoplift in Oakham because the up-market shops have nothing he wants
-         Claiming that if women get cancer it is their own fault

It has been reported that ex- Cllr Brookes is trying to appeal against Judge Laverick's opinion that he is "unfit for public office".  We don't fancy his chances much!

Friday, 7 September 2012

Oakham Councillor Puts Porno in Town Noticeboard

The arresting officer perusing Cllr Brookes' porno display

Lunchtime shoppers in Oakham High Street got more than an eyeful when Oakham Town Councillor Martin Brookes forced open the town noticeboard and displayed a shocking portfolio of hard core porno!

He then proceeded to encourage passers by, regardless of age, to admire the pictures!  Needless to say Cllr Brookes was arrested at the scene and taken away by the police.

Inspector Monks of Oakham Police station told the Rutland Mercury  “It’s not nice if people use a public notice board to display offensive pictures and I won’t tolerate it.”

The bizarre selection of pornographic images portrayed a practical demonstration of a little known fringe fetish known as vegetable sodomy which is usually confined to groups who don’t have access to proper sex toys such as prison inmates and long-term unemployed.

After his release by the police, Cllr Brookes, who hasn’t worked in years, said “The Assistant Town Clerk said it did not portray a good image for Oakham.  My answer is that it is a minority of the people residing in Oakham who feel they can treat me in this disgusting manner”.  Later on Cllr Brookes stated on his blog: ”I am told if I went to a special school I should be excluded from being a Councillor. I don't think this is correct. If I am charged and convicted for display offensive images it may come out I was charged as a young man for petty theft.”

He later accepted a police caution for the offences of criminal damage and displaying offensive images, though he refused to say who it was who was in the pictures with the carrot.  All that is known about the person in the pictures is that he was male and blonde.

Brooksy, who is male and blonde, also outraged Oakham residents by his refusal to pay the repair bill for the criminal damage he caused because he is unemployed, even though he is a regular in Oakham’s pubs.

In November 2011 Cllr Brookes was found to be wholly unfit to be a councillor and was disqualified from holding any public office.

Thursday, 23 August 2012

A Load of Bollards: Two-faced Brookesy caught out by Neighbour

Stirring disgraced ex-councillor Martin Brookes has been caught out being two faced by his neighbour who has found out that it was Brookes who has been making complaints about him to the Council.  Watch him squirm as he tries in vain to wriggle off the hook!  We are grateful to our local correspondent for this contribution, keep them coming!

A Load of Bollards
Brookesy upsets another local retailer with his individual perception of public service.

Yes this correspondent can report again on the 'Rutland Misfit' who has again incorrectly reported on another local issue.  This time his target is a local retailer who erected 'Bollards' outside his store as a safety measure after a vehicle ".....drove into the waste bin outside the shop." The store is only yards away from where Brookes lives so there is a fair chance this might be another retail store he won't be welcome in.

Brookes admits that he took photos and then immediately fled to safety in the South of England to avoid confrontation with the populace of Rutland, which is always the way with this individual.

It would appear that the store owner has a suspicion about who made the complaint to RCC Planning Department and there is a mountain of evidence that points straight at Brookes.

On his infamous and one-sided inaccurate blog, Brookes says that it wasn't him, but it is common knowledge he hides his identity before he makes any phone calls so that his number is not recorded on the receiving land line or mobile phone.  "The caller did not leave their number," is the only message you might get when he phones you, says nothing and then hangs up.

Brookes then goes on to say, "As for the Councillor involved I think they stink!"  That's a rich statement from him as it is a known fact that Brookes' severe onset of halitosis, since he chose to reduce his own income some years ago by volunteering to be unemployed and now can't afford the basics for his personal hygiene.  As a consequence his health is suffering which leaves him with very bad breath and hair loss.

The blog entry is full of contradictions and because of considerable research done by this correspondent with local people, particularly around the store and Brookes’ home, can report that there is a general feeling of disbelief in anything Brookes reports on.  In street interviews held, while he was hiding in the South, a resident said, "Brookes? Oh him, no we don't have anything to do with him.  He's a loaner and we keep out of his way.” Another resident I spoke to was less complimentary but her comments cannot be printed because of offending other readers.

This correspondent is looking closely into Brookes's activities and will make more reports when appropriate.  In the meantime the public should avoid contact.

T. Ruth (Your Local Heralder @

From on Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Bollards Rutland County Council Planning and Willow Stores

Willow Stores


At the weekend whilst away, I received the above Facebook message from Willow Stores Oakham

Before I went away I photographed the new concrete bollards outside the store highlighting the reason for the installation on a previous blog post.

At no point until now did I say I did not like the concrete bollards and I most certainly did not raise a complaint with Rutland County County Councils Planning Officer.

The Bollards have now been removed because Rutland County Councils Planning Officers have nothing better to do.

The bollards have been replaced with Cherry Trees, The owner of Willow Stores has been told planning permission would be required for bollards on a commercial property boundary but not if it was a residential property Trees do not need planning permission.

As for the Councillor involved I think they stink!

The other problem here is the council some years  ago removed the public footpath to create a parking bay.

It does not surprise me a complaint was received because many members of the public would assume the pavement they use every day is public, when it is actually private and their stupid council dug up the public footpath for the benefit of motorists.

Thursday, 16 August 2012

Blogger Martin Throws Tantrum After Forgetting His Password

Oh dear! Compulsive Oakham blogger and disgraced ex-councillor Martin Brookes forgot his password this week and is throwing a major tantrum in the town.  Refusing to admit that he just couldn’t remember his own password he insists that it’s all a conspiracy by Oakham Town Council, Rutland County Council and, of course, the police!  It also appears that Brookes has been using the town council’s email address as a log-in for his foul language blog even after he was banned from being a councillor!  What a disgrace!

"Blog Hacking and Oakham Town Council
On  Monday this week for a short period of time I lost control of my blog.

It was also deleted.

With the use of my mobile and security questions and I was able to republish my blog.

This morning I found my password was not working.

I then requested an e-mail reminder. I was shocked to see Google were sending the email with a reminder to an Oakham Town Council email account.

I telephoned Oakham Town Council and spoke to the assistant clerk. She said she would look into it.

A short time later I received a telephone from the Clerk, he said he had personally received an email from the blogger team.

I asked the Clerk to forward the email to me so this breach could be investigated.

He said he would delete the email, he also said he wanted nothing to do with this.

He did forward the e-mail shown below, once received I was able to reset my password once again.

I know Oakham Town Council and Rutland County council and its supporters would like to see my blog removed for good. They have tried using Leicestershire Constabulary now it appears they happy to hack Google accounts." 

Friday, 3 August 2012

Saved by her Titanium Chastity Belt!

In her own words a young, vulnerable and obviously highly attractive [snigger!] trainee teacher tells how she used her 'titanium chastity belt' to thwart a combined plot against her life by Military Intelligence and the Freemasons!

I was asked to work on a project within a male prison for HIV AIDS awareness day a few years ago. The man who first suggested me for the task was I** E*****, an ex army officer who admitted he had worked for military intelligence, now sometime art teacher and prison course tutor. One never retires from military intelligence
A dozen sex offenders
Prisons have rules and regulations, security measures, walkie talkies, a plethora of safe guards and one would expect a series of briefings before being allowed loose on the unsuspecting prisoners.

But nothing, no walkie talkie, no briefing. A community health worker accompanied me to the first session and pointed out the stationary alarm fixed to the wall. After that I was on my own, a trainee teacher with about a dozen sex offenders, trying to produce a play for HIV AIDS awareness day in December.  The prisoners couldn’t believe how ignorant I was of prison regulations. They began to smell a malodorous dereliction of duty and quickly moved in to shoulder the security burden themselves. Bert was particularly helpful. So much so that he was moved out to another prison, allegedly for having too close a relationship with an art teacher.
My Titanium Chastity Belt

A new prisoner, Kevin, came to the group at the next session. Someone who, I suspect, was a diagnosed psychopath and HIV positive. Having heard that no prisoner who’d tried to get past my unchaperoned titanium chastity belt had yet succeeded, the new prisoner was determined to meet the challenge. When he admitted he had been locked into the administration block of the prison and left alone there for over two hours I realised he was also being encouraged to find my name and address on letters I had sent to the prison authorities about the project.
Locked in the prison gym
One Sunday I was locked into the prison gym with the prisoners, no member of staff present, no keys to get out during free association time and the most responsible and safety conscious prisoner detained and unable to get into the gym. The door to the anteroom with the stationary alarm had been locked. We had to call for several minutes to attract the attention of a passing prisoner to allow the prisoners out for a loo break.
The play was written and produced. Prisoners and visiting local bigwigs attended. A teacher who’d originally been asked to produce the event and refused seemed particularly obstreperous. She eventually explained that I** E***** had told her that I had given my name and address to prisoners. The whole plot suddenly made sense.
If a prisoner were to find my address I would naturally be the one who had given it to him, bearing in mind the false rumours I** E***** had already circulated. I also knew which prisoner would be prepared to take advantage of such an opportunity. I had to play the double bluff. Gave a little used internet phone number to the prisoner and told him to get in touch on his release. Now he would not be given any further opportunity to find my address. This oxymoronic intelligence officer had to be foiled.

Masonic henchmen
I am well trained in counter intelligence. Foiling a decade of psychological trickery, when one faces forces using Masonic slaves as henchmen and ex military intelligence servicemen who follow orders without question, one is trained on the hoof.

Masons are inured to accepting orders from the hierarchy above them, which is why so many of them are used by the intelligence services. They are enslaved by ritual mumbo jumbo, a new twist on Stockholm syndrome is perpetrated in those rituals and a cult like adherence ensues, above all other loyalties, to this most secret and sinister of societies. Rumour has it that policeman find it impossible in certain forces to reach the rank of sergeant without joining the masons. It is also rumoured that judicial advancement to the bench is more likely once one becomes an entered apprentice. The security services are answerable to no one except ‘The Crown’ and rumour has it that the Crown itself is an indentured member of the Eastern Star – a female arm of masonry. Prince Philip ‘was’ a mason, once a mason always a mason. Reports in a newspaper that Prince Charles could be seen practising the Masonic art of goat riding have appeared in the press. We will never know how far the Masonic network extends until a full 
list of all masons is published.
Conspiracy to kill
Kevin, recently released, got in touch. Summoning up my courage I agreed to meet him at Leicester train station. Emptied my handbag of any personal documentation, paid for lunch in cash and left the car at home. One can easily be traced through one’s car number plate, credit card or by arranging to have a handbag snatched. Over lunch he asked ‘why did you want to see me,’ the glint in his eye suggesting I found him irresistible. My reply was ‘because I am dangerous to you.’ ‘I’m more dangerous than you’ was his immediate competitive rejoinder. He had already asked if I voted – so one had to presume he’d looked at several electoral registers. I don’t think he believed me when I told him that finding out where I lived might mean that I would be found dead and he would be stitched up for the crime. This meeting carried all the hallmarks of a conspiracy to kill in the inimitable style of the intelligence services. Kevin had told his probation officer he was going to meet me, he said that the police knew too. What on earth were the authorities doing in allowing a trainee teacher to meet with a convicted sex offender without taking steps to halt her apparent idiocy? Waiting to leave Kevin asked for a kiss on his lips at the station Stupidly I quickly drew away, then realising my mistake drew very close and said ‘I will never ever kiss you.’ A kiss on the cheek or embrace is very different to the kiss he was seeking. I was shaking uncontrollably at the end of that afternoon, but hoped that I had succeeded in alerting Kevin to the danger I presented to him. I also hoped that I had taken the challenge out of his life and that he would not try to find me...

It practically goes on forever, but if you haven't pissed yourself laughing by now you never will!

Saturday, 14 July 2012

Oakham's Very Odd Couple

She thinks she's a political and literary genius, he thinks he's God's gift to men!  It's no wonder they're always rowing:

From Him about Her:
"Lately people have told me I should not associated with Helen Pender until this weekend I have ignored this advice. Whilst away yesterday some strange comments appeared on my blog...Her behaviour is a disgrace and particularly at the last council meeting, yes! what she said at the meeting is true but she knew the trouble, she would cause and the problems this would cause between me and my friend. I have asked Helen Pender not to contact me again, her constant telephoning texting and knocking on my door late at night is harassment! What a strange town we live in."

From Him to Her:
"Dear Helen,

I am writing this so it is very clear from this point on, I do not wish to be contacted by you ever again.

It was clear to me since I first met you at Victoria Hall at Mr Duncan's public meeting you had issues. 

You have a deep political hatred. Your reasons may or may not be just.

My issues are simple look after the tax payers money. I am not driven by hatred.

When I first met you I thought you were a friend of a friend and was surprised by the conversation that followed over coffee, I thought my how open Jo's friend is. I was shocked at how you described you sexual life between you and your ex husband (Tory) 
 and the prison 

An ex-husband (Tory)

service setting you up and hoping you would be raped my inmates. Then to only find afterwards Jo had never met you before and you were telling to complete strangers all this.

Members of  Oakham Town Council have often warned me you are a danger. Even Cllr Lucas although it was later found that woman communicated with you via e-mail. But that is to be expected from her she blows in the wind.

Your text messages and harassment have always been a concern to me and I have feared just telling you outright go away! would cause me problems just like those you have subjected Tom in Stamford too.

I shared a text message with Cllr Sharon Spencer you sent after phoning and knocking on my door for a whole afternoon, when you knew I would only was only trying to have a break before a meeting. You threatened to contact the police and called others. 

Oakham  Town Council say your my puppet master a phrase used yesterday. This far from the truth.

People say you are crazy, I say you are not crazy but evil you knew what you were doing at the last council meeting, and laughed about it outside. Crazy people don't know what they are doing.
This is why I don't want to be contacted by you again.



From Her to Him:
"I had expected an apology from Martin Brookes when he realised that the anonymous texts did not come from me. Unfortunately he is not man enough to apologise.

Heigh Ho - that's what you get when you try to support the underdog. Perhaps the underdog is an underdog for a reason. Certainly this mad rant seems to suggest so.

Frankly this is the second time you have falsely accused me and now you have blogged your false accusations. I am not amused and am happy not to email or text you - I usually did so in response to your emails and texts anyway and I have received many more texts and emails from you than I have ever sent to you. Nine last Tuesday! If you send me emails desperately wanting me to write to Mark Woodcock and then post a private email to all and sundry, when I specifically asked you not to, then you clearly have no political nouse. These people want to crucify you and you have just scored an own goal of epic proportions. Well done Martin. You are clearly hard of thinking. As for the acusations made against you it seems you would rather have remained in ignorance and it takes some lack of intellect to defend a 'friend' for not telling you what was being said about you. As I said another indication of 'hard of thinking.'
I have better things to do than to be an observer at meetings of divvies who couldn't run a bath and are intent on doing things their own sweet 'dysfunctional' way for ever. I suppose that'll teach me to support hopeless cases. Never mind, lesson learned."

From Him to Her:
"Helen I am only going to answer this one comment I have a text message in response to my question you answered Whoops delete or edit. The person you named has told me today they were angry with you and that is a different story from yours. You also laughed about it, just like you did after the meeting incident.
I did ask you to write to explain to Mark woodcock because you behaviour was not good and you laughed about this also outside and made many people angry. Many people think I asked you to stand up and drop that bombshell and of course I did not. You harass people and I defended you and you have let me down. Think about what you did to the man in Stamford, the loacal artist and lady at Exton.
A loacal artist!

A Lady at Exton

Now that is the END I will not respond to anymore of your comments."

From Him to Her:
"PS and I still have not forgotten the disgusting way you behaved in the church and people asking me to control my wife.




From Him to Her:
"PS I forgot to mention the posters you posted around town atacking Patsy Clifton and they blamed me and I did not even know who this woman was. The post on the web site in Norwich all things that have caused me problems"

From Him about Her:
"Today has been a very tiresome day it all started after Helen Pender turned up on my doorstep uninvited and demand I had a coffee with her.  I did not answer the door and she return shouting I was a idiot and she was going to tell standards for England I was a idiot. The police tell me she is not harassing me. I think the last message received around 4pm said I was insane." 

From Him to Her:
"Helen behave! I received your email, it is all a little confusing, it explains you are not well. It is clear to see by your comments that may be the case.  Poor you, get well soon."

Thursday, 8 April 2010

Scrounging Councillor Martin Brookes

Loony councillor Martin Brookes is a persistant nuisance beggar in Oakham. You can see him most days walking up and down Oakham High Street telling anybody who will listen how poor he is. He is well known in all the shops and offices, trying to cadge freebies on the grounds that he is a town councillor.

If he stops you and asks you for 10p for a cup of tea, you best give it him or else he will do this to you:

Brookes is definitely very kinky: It's a known fact that he will go for anything in a cassock, unless, of course, it's a lady vicar! Brookes campaigned long and hard (no pun intended) to stop the Church of England getting women priests because he didn't think they could give him his usual service.

Although Martin is constantly harping on about the hardships of being long-term unemployed, don't believe him. He has no intention of getting a job while there are people gullible enough to give him anything he asks for. Furthermore, it is widely rumoured that Martin earns money on the side doing favours for elderly gentlemen he befriends, even if they're not a clergyman! And there's no telling what he isn't prepared to do in return for a whole pot of free tea and a cake at somewhere like Stapleford Hall.

As well as free afternoon tea, Brookes just loves being taken out on his birthday at other people's expence. Brookes was so pleased with the free £19 champagne on his recent birthday, he just had to tell the whole world about it.

And don't ever tell Brookes that you are going on holiday because he will ask you if he can go with you.