Saturday, 22 December 2012

Martin Banned!!! ‘Pornogate’ Councillor Disqualified From Public Office

Residents of Oakham breathed a sigh of relief when a High Court Judge disqualifed Oakham Town Councillor Martin Brookes from holding public office either in Oakham or anywhere else after disgusting the town in an incident known locally as ‘Pornogate’.

The story as it appeared in the Rutland Mercury
Standards for England, the body responsible for maintaining standards in public office, took Cllr Brookes before a Tribunal after a string of complaints against him by fellow councillors, staff and members of the public.  The Tribunal found that Cllr Brookes had been guilty of a large number of breaches of the Code of Conduct, calling one councilllor an ‘arsehole’, another an ‘old bag’ and ‘vilifying’ the Clerks on numerous occasions.  He also subjected a female member of the public he had never met to a tirade of homophobic abuse.

However, the worst incident by far was when Brookes, who is a keen amateur photographer, broke open the Council’s main noticeboard in the High Street and filled it with anal fetish material which promptly led to Brookes’s arrest and cautioning and subsequent downfall at the Standards Tribunal.

Mobile phone video of the incident sent to Laughing Stocks by a member of the public confirms reports widely circulating in the town that the images showed a naked man with a carrot engaging in what can only be described as cruelty to vegetables!

Mystery surrounds the identity of the model in the photographs, but the images taken by a member of the public clearly show one of the pictures was captioned “This is my ex-husband, I shouldn’t really show it round – he’s got the one of me”.

Stills from a video of the noticeboard.  The full horror of the scene has had to be deliberately blurred out by us!

In his final adjudication Presiding Judge David Laverick said of Cllr Brookes: “There is no indication that the Respondent has shown any sign of understanding the standards set by the Code of Conduct despite his agreeing to follow the provisions of that Code. The Tribunal can see no alternative to disqualifying him from being a member of the Town Council, and any other local authority. The Tribunal has decided that the period of disqualification should be two years. That period will allow the particular Town Council to move to a more normal way of operating and will also allow the Respondent time to reflect on the standards which are expected of those in Public Life."
As well as the Pornogate incident, Brookes has also gained notoriety for a series of other bizarre doings.  His crazy antics have included:

-         Sending a press release to all UK national media organisations saying his ex was ‘crap’
-         Proclaiming himself ‘God’s gift to men’
-         Saying that he would never shoplift in Oakham because the up-market shops have nothing he wants
-         Claiming that if women get cancer it is their own fault

It has been reported that ex- Cllr Brookes is trying to appeal against Judge Laverick's opinion that he is "unfit for public office".  We don't fancy his chances much!

Saturday, 15 December 2012

The Fool in the Cherry Picker – Or Just Trespassing?

More Streets And Suburbia (S.A.S.) Gossip from your Rutland Roving Reporters!

The Fool in the Cherry Picker – Or Just Trespassing?

You know - if somebody purported to be a local journalist or photographer and walked uninvited around my business premises with a camera around his neck, and a suspicious smile on his face, I’d probably ask him to leave.  But then again the same person may well be a little frightening because of his attitude, general appearance and the way he speaks to me, so as a frail person I might just cower behind the counter and let him wander, especially when he has a bouncer with him.  Not that his protective person is that conspicuous, by design, so I might not see him or her, (lurking in the background), whichever the case may be.  But that’s just meek and mild me I suppose.

Anyway the photos on his recent Internet publication are somewhat confusing.  Some pictures show an unfinished roof on a small building in a back yard (picture taken from altitude with telephoto lens) which seems to please him and yet another picture shows another roof, with rather expensive roof tiles I might add, on a particularly nice period building.  For some reason he dislikes these tiles so we must assume he is an aesthetics critic or a building know-it-all. He does appear to have a fetish with roofs'. How odd.  Perhaps it remands him of his own 'topper' and has a grievance with his barber.

We then came to wonder how he got these pictures.  Was it from a cherry picker hired for the occasion or did he, as is the suspicion, wander around uninvited into a building and then disappear up to somebody’s bedroom at the top of the house to look for a photo opportunity?  He has to be the worst kind of paparazzi who uses deception to secure entry and then hides in the ‘clouds’ like some US surveillance drone who then monitors the enemy below.  How much does it cost to hire a cherry picker these days – me thinks this is not the case as he always claims he has no money to eat let alone hire a cherry picker.  How on earth does he cover the cost of phone calls and new equipment?  Amazing what you can afford on benefits these days isn’t it.  

Questions, questions.  Something this local l...y dislikes intensely.

On the same day the pompous ass has the gall to claim that somebody, other than he, is guilty of “...malicious communications...” Now that is rich coming from him.  I suppose he is now a legal expert because he’s been getting away with the same thing for years.  Not to mention the other offences he has committed with impunity over the past ten years – and counting.

We are also treated to a history lesson of other instances in people’s pasts that he has mined from the Internet.  Wouldn’t it be a travesty if we found something in his past that he didn’t want airing in public?

Okay all you budding Arthur Scargill’s, let’s get digging.

Oh nearly forgot - Merry Christmas. Ho Ho Ho.